New York City PUA Events for January 2010

In an effort to keep my readers and myself better informed on the different community events occurring in New York City each month I post a calendar at the beginning of each month listing all upcoming events I am aware of. New York City is a place that has several different community groups and there is no reason to learn pickup on your own if you do not want to. If I have a missed an event that you feel should be listed please do not hesitate to e-mail me.

Thursday, January 7th
Title: Sarge NYC Meetup
Host: Sarge NYC
Location: Beauty Bar, 231 E 14th Street, New York, NY 10011
Time: 9:00 p.m.

Saturday, January 9th
Title: Style Make, Night Game, Day Game and Dating Mindset
Host: NYC Wingmen
Location: Ripley-Grier Studios, 520 Eighth Avenue, New York, NY 10011, 6th Floor, Room 16J
Time: 7:00 p.m.
Cost: $10
Description: “Welcome to New Year. We have decided to start it off with a Bang by featuring two speakers at our first meeting. Our first meeting will be about Image and Style, Night Game, Day Game, Inner game. The first speaker will be David Dupree. Natural extraordinaire, he has numerous TV appearances as a night game dating coach. He is also one of the main coaches in a pick up reality show that is slated to be released soon. David has dated actresses, models, wealthy women and debutantes in several countries and several languages. Let him tell you about his recent trip to Paris where a lightning fast pickup led to him singing on stage at one of Paris' most famous Jazz clubs. The man who developed the 'put-a-quarter-in-the-machine' method known as "Entourage Game" and an expert in the least discussed but most necessary social skill, David will explain HOW to develop, or improve, conversational ability. " Small talk must be learned, and CAN be learned. If you are not flirting and socializing when you should, you are missing out not only on your dating life but also on your social life." -David Dupree David is one of the top night game naturals in New York. Natural style in night game is about conveying your passions and personality and the way David does this without routines is amazing to watch. He has developed businesses in fashion and has a great sense of style for men who want to improve their image to get higher quality women and he will share his views at the meeting. * The right way to demonstrate value. (hint: Picasso should never say he's a painter.) * How women view you based on your style (Dressing well is not the point) Our second speaker will be our very own Organizer, Arthur Malov. He is known as a day game master. His book Park Bench Dating was the first book in the PUA community that focused exclusively on day game. Released in 2006, Park Bench Dating has received critical acclaims from the media and from readers. Arthur is well known in the USA and abroad -- his latest appearances covering the psychology of dating have been on a national morning show in Japan and the national Japanese magazine Aera. Arthur's insight into day game and the psychology of dating is profound. He has coached men who went on to be Mystery Method instructors and men who had transformational success in their dating life and just enjoyed their love life. He has been featured in The New York Times, Time Out New York, Learning Annex, Russia Today TV, and has appeared on TV and radio shows in the USA and internationally. “

Sunday, January 10th
Title: AFC Adam Lyons # 1 PUA
Host: Pickup Artist Events
Location: Ripley-Grier Studios, 520 Eight Avenue, New York, NY 10011
Time: 6:00 – 9:00 p.m.
Price: $19
Description: “Voted least likely to ever get a girlfriend at school, a love for dungeons and dragons, and an addiction to video games Adam appeared destined to be a loser forever. That was until he began learning the secrets of the game. Within a few years he rose rapidly amongst the ranks of the worlds pick up artists to be recognized as one of the top pick up artists in the world. Adam most recently was chosen as the #1 Pickup Artist in the world by a respected authority. Everyone who meets Adam is thrilled by his speeches and personality, so don't miss this opportunity to see him live in his first ever meetup appearance in New York City.”

I Watched My First Live Gang Bang

I went to one of the three on-premise swingers club on Long Island last night (Wednesday) with my PLTR. It was a couples and singles night. The location we were going to was being run by new hosts and the setup was different from the last time we had gone so we decided to go on a night where couples were free to see how it was. Apparently at the last minute a few women had contacted the hosts to arrange a few gangbangs because they wanted to experience having several men at once for the first time.

The woman we watched was an attractive woman that looked to be in her late thirties/early forties. Apparently her only rule was not to pull her hair. Other than that, she would do vaginal, anal, and oral and with oral she did not require a condom but actually encouraged the guys to cum in her mouth and on her face. She chose to have the gangbang in what is called “the Fantasy Room” which is a room with a king sized bed with one of the walls lined with windows. On the other side of the windows is a small dark viewing room where voyeurs can watch the action going on in the Fantasy Room. We went to this room to watch. The windows are literally touching the end of the bed so anyone watching is basically a mere foot or two from the action.

The entire gangbang lasted about two hours. First she had the men all line up and she did a visual inspection of about a dozen guys to determine if they had any visible signs of STDs. They all then proceeded to get undressed and go at it. The activity generally consisted of her blowing between one to two guys at once while a third was having intercourse with her or going down on her.

One bizarre twist was that a woman that appeared to be in her sixties, perhaps even seventies had asked to join the woman in the gangbang under the assumption that she would only participate with the main woman who organized the gangbang. Instead what ended up happening is that while most of the guys tried to focus on the attractive woman, some of the men decided that if the main woman was occupied they would be blown by the older lady. Some of the men even went down on her, and others had sex with her. It was quite an interesting but odd sight.

It was interesting watching the group dynamic in the room and how then men behaved. Quite a few of them had erection difficulties and many were just not aggressive enough. Those that took the initiative had the fun, those that didn’t expended a lot of their energy just stroking themselves hoping to be ready when their time came only to wear themselves out and not be able to perform when the moment of truth arrived.

It was all very interesting to watch, but there were a few issues I personally had with the whole gangbang.

The first is that she did not know these men beforehand. At the very least I think she should have required all participants to have had an STD test within the last month with a printed out copy and confirm the name on the test result matches the person’s drivers license. Second I would have gotten to know the guys beforehand. This would allow her to ask them questions about their sexual history that may be relevant. Third, she could have done way better than these guys. Most of them were not very appealing. She could have easily spent more time arranging the entire event and had more attractive men participate. Fourth and lastly, the entire gangbang had HORRIBLE logistics. Two of the guys occupied her way too much. One looked like he seemed to have downed a whole bottle of Viagra because I’ve never seen anyone go at a pace like him without losing an erection for two hours straight and the second one would not stop eating out the woman when he wasn’t fucking her. This didn’t allow the other men to participate and made the whole gangbang much less interesting than it could have been.

As far as me ever participating in a gangbang, I’m doubtful I would. I think safe sex is extremely important and this was anything but. A visual inspection does not protect from a variety of STDs, including HIV and as a result it was dangerous for everyone who participated. For me to engage in such activity, everyone would need to have been heavily pre-screened beforehand.

Maintaining and Building Value on Facebook (v. 1.0)

Introduction

Whether you use Facebook for social networking, business networking, or just for fun, your value is either raised or lowered based upon your actions on the site, how you interact with others, and how they interact with you. Studies have shown that Facebook generally accurately represents a person’s persona because it is generally difficult to fake friend lists and control who posts things on your wall. You can give people in your life the impression you go out a lot, that you know lots of cool and interesting people, but the truth of the matter is, if that is not reflected on your Facebook profile, then you will come off as inconsistent and your value will be lowered. You can’t fake going out a lot when there is no one tagging you on Facebook in photos depicting your lifestyle. The simplest way to increase your value is to live a cool and interesting life. Aside from that however, there are some strategies one can employ to increase ones value through Facebook and also strategies to employ that will prevent unnecessary loss of value.

When You Go Online

Cool people go out on Friday and Saturday nights. That or they are busy. What they aren’t doing is going on Facebook. After 6 p.m. on Friday or Saturday, you shouldn’t be signing into Facebook at all, but if you do, make sure you aren’t logging into Facebook Chat, any other IM programs, or making status updates, posting articles or videos, or commenting on anyone else’s updates. If you do you are broadcasting to the world that you have nothing better to do but spend your Friday or Saturday night on Facebook. Another big no no is making Friend Requests during this time period. Many people receive a time stamped e-mail when someone friend requests them telling them when the request was made. It says a lot about you if you are friend requesting a particular girl at 11 p.m. on Friday. The impression you are giving is that you are alone and doing nothing on a Friday night and thinking about that person.

Negativity

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it” – well the same saying is absolutely true when it comes to Status Updates. People don’t like negative people. Try to keep your updates as upbeat as possible. If you don’t, you are going bleed out your value very quickly.

Photos

It is your job to understand how the photo features and tagging features work and to control what images you have out there. You should be regularly uploading photos of you with other people in fun environments. This means two things: (1) You have to go out regularly – if you don’t, you obviously can’t fake this and you won’t have any photos to post, and (2) You need to buy a nice slim pocket camera. If someone tags you in an unflattering photo, untag yourself, plain and simple. You control your image. If you fail to do this, and you have photos of yourself looking like a cross eyed dolt passed out on the floor, then your value again has nowhere to go but down.

Relationship Status & Other Profile Information

I personally prefer not to list my relationship status. This lets everyone wonder. If you are involved with someone and are still open to play with others, by adding the relationship you are potentially excluding a whole group of potential female playmates. In addition, no one likes drama, so I say it is better to stay away from the whole “It’s Complicated” choice. In addition, I would leave most of the other information out. No one really cares if you are on here for dating, friendships, or networking, so leave it blank, and I would also leave out religion and political affiliation – again you don’t want to have potential female playmates dismiss you because you don’t meet certain requirements they have on their internal check list. When you are just sleeping with someone, it doesn’t really matter whether they are Christian or Agnostic or a Liberal or a Conservative, so it is better not to disclose.

In addition you want to keep the overall information load from Activities, Interests, Music, TV Shows, etc. concise and to the point. No one wants to read too much information, so keep it brief and leave out information you know will obviously decrease your value.

Building Your Friend List

You should be attempting to increase your Friend List as quickly as possible. Every time you meet a new person while you are out you should add them as a friend a day or two later. The friend request feature allows you to attach a message to the request. I suggest that you add a very brief note on how you met – e.g., “Met at Yummy’s New Years Eve Party :-)”

I only have one exception and those are girls you are attempting to sleep with and who are available immediately to see. The less information they have about you the better-therefore you should merely be getting their phone number and making plans with them, not putting them on a slow track through Facebook.

Facebook Apps, Games, & Quizzes

Simply put: Stay away from them. By sitting there playing these inane games or taking these quizzes you are telling everyone on your Facebook you have absolutely nothing better to do with your time, hence a lowering of value results.

Baiting People to Interact with You

A busy wall shows others that people have an interest in you. There are two ways to bait people to interact with you on Facebook. The first way to go about this is to be active with commenting on articles and status updates that your friends post. They will be more likely to respond to your updates as a result. The quickest way of doing this is to just scroll through the most recent status updates on your home page when you sign on and just click the “Like” option whenever something interesting or positive is posted. The second way is to post articles, videos, or status updates that are interesting and provoke others to respond. Sometimes you might even want to ask a question in your post to encourage others to participate.

Events

Pay attention to events you are invited to on Facebook. It takes a lot to put together an outing or throw a party and those that do will become insulted by those that do not even take the ten seconds required to respond to an invite. Chances are you won’t get repeat invites if you do not respond to previous ones. At the very least choose no.

But on another note, these invites represent an opportunity to meet new people. I encourage you to leave your comfort zone and attend events even if you don’t know many people attending, which will quickly allow you to expand your social circle. After you attend an event, just go back to the event page a day or two later and it will be easy to friend request those new people you met.

Birthdays

Facebook does a wonderful job of telling you when upcoming birthdays are. These present an easy opportunity to keep communication lines open with those on your friend list that you don’t normally interact with frequently. I suggest sending them an actual message instead of just posting on their wall since this will make you stand out from the rest of the herd of people who are bombarding their walls with happy birthday messages. If you have a person’s cell phone number, either call or txt them instead of going through Facebook. It is more personal.

Don’t Censor

If someone posts something on your wall that you don’t necessarily agree with I suggest you don’t follow the impulse to censor. If you do this you will likely offend the person who posted the comment and they will be less likely to continue to respond to items or updates you post.

Conclusion

As you can tell, this is more of an article geared towards social circle game and does not directly deal with how to pick up girls using Facebook, though much of what this guide contains is relevant to that topic. I will continue to update this guide as time goes on. If anyone has any input, feel free to share either by posting a comment or via e-mail :-)

How to Host a Movie Night (v. 1.0)

I have been thinking of additional ways to expand and strengthen my social circle aside from hosting parties every month or two. One idea was to have a movie night once a month. I had my first one last week. Obviously those with larger spaces to host a movie night will fare better than those who are limited on space. My ultimate goal is to replicate going to an actual theater to see a movie as closely as possible.

Choosing a Movie

I use DVD Express and Red Box to rent movies. They are DVD rental machines located at different supermarkets and grocery stores around the country (e.g., King Kullen, Waldbaums, Pathmark, Stop & Shop, 7/11, etc.). You can rent a movie for $1 and return it the following evening at 7 p.m. for DVD Express and 9 p.m. for Red Box. If you keep it longer you are charged $1 for each additional day. Both services allow for reserving movies ahead of time online and movies and new releases are released every Tuesday. By using one of these machines or if you prefer Netflix, Blockbuster, or your TV Service Provider, you can obtain the latest movie releases so there is a decreased chance of everyone having already seen the movie. There is something appealing about seeing a movie that just came out on DVD compared to something that has been available for some time.

Food

How would a movie night be complete without popcorn? I decided to purchase an old-fashioned popcorn machine to add a little fun for movie nights. I want the taste to be as close to possible as the movie theater as possible and normally microwaving popcorn just doesn’t cut it. I also have plenty of nachos available and heated up a whole bunch of cheese. For drinks I had Water, Pepsi, Coke, and Sprite. I make sure everyone has their own bowl of popcorn, nachos, and cheese, so there is no issues with double dipping or if anyone is a germaphobe they don’t have to put in an uncomfortable position.

Conclusion

That about sums up my thoughts on the subject for now. As I have more movie nights I will of course expand on what I find works and doesn’t work.

Review of October’s Party

I had hosted my most recent apartment party this past Saturday and it was a complete success.

There were a total of 31 of us. Only a handful of guests flaked. Below are some reflections on the party:

New Additions That Were Successful

Food: In the past, for fifteen guests I would order four pizza pies. For over 30 guests I was unsure of how many pies I should order. I considered just doubling the number to eight considering that four worked well for fifteen guests. However I just felt that was way too much of one thing so I opted for less pizza and decided to supplement the pizza with wings. As a result, for the increased guest list I ordered 6 pizza pies (2 plain, 2 pepperoni, 1 sausage, and 1 meatball) and 3 dozen wings. My guestimate worked well since only three slices were left over. In addition to the pizza modification I added cheese cake to the dessert menu. It was served a couple of hours after the pizza.

Games: There were only two new games added to this party. The first was Left, Center, Right (LCR), which was not played. However, every time I host a party different games are played depending on the social dynamics and interactions of the guests. The second new addition was a game similar to Russian Roulette called Lightening Reaction. Basically four people hold a joystick. A light on the machine flashes with music playing. When the light goes off the first person to press the button on the joystick wins and the losers (the other three players) get a respectable electric shock. If a player presses the button on their joystick before the light and music stops they are the only one to receive the shock. It is very fun to play and even more enjoyable for the guests watching the losers reactions when they get zapped. The other games played during the night were Shot Glass Checkers, Flip Cup, Beer Pong, and Apples to Apples.

Liquor: We added some new drinks to the menu. The first was Captain Morgan’s Coconut Rum which happens to work very well mixed with Fruit Punch. We also had Bacardi Long Island Ice Tea which worked well as a shot.

Future Ideas

At this point in time my parties pretty much work like clockwork and run very effectively as is, but since I am a perfectionist I always look for ways to improve upon the experience.

Music: One idea I have is to add wireless speakers to both the kitchen and bathroom to extend the reach of the music without raising the volume of the music in the apartment. The problem with just raising the volume is that the louder the music is, the louder the guests are so they can hear each other, which of course increases the chances of complaints. 30+ people are loud enough, no reason to artificially raise the volume.

Cupcakes: Anyone in NYC who has tried cupcakes from Magnolias or the Buttercup Cupcake Factory know how great it would be to reproduce those cupcakes. That is just what I plan to do for a dessert option at my parties. I plan on purchasing a professional mixer and will make a batch of different flavored fresh cupcakes. I suspect they will be just as much of a hit as the chocolate fondue has been.

Frozen Drinks: I now have one of those Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker machines which are these huge blending devices that make it very easy to make restaurant quality mixed drinks very easily. I plan on implementing the machine at future parties.

Popcorn: I recently purchased one of those old fashioned popcorn machines which I think will be a blast to use for movie nights which I am considering beginning soon. Basically rent a newly released movie and then have a handful of friends over to enjoy. But of course it is a way better experience if you can mimic the movie going experience more effectively. So I plan on having nachos with cheese and popcorn available for the occasion.

Orgies Do Exist – And I Had a Soft-Swap

Before sharing this experience I want to confess that I never really thought that people had orgies or that they were so common and what surprised me the most was that so many very attractive people would be involved in such things.

I am going to define an orgy as group sex where many people (6+) play with each other as compared to just many different couples swapping in the same environment but separate from each other.

On Saturday night my LTR (Long Term Relationship) – who we will call Samantha – and I were invited to a couples only swinger dinner party. We have recently been attending a lot of private parties but this was the first dinner party that we’ve been invited to. The party took place at a couple’s home and approximately a dozen couples attended. The rules and setup were simple, there was a cocktail hour that allowed guests to socialize, then dinner was served, and not too long following dinner, the party was moved to the basement where four beds were set up. Guests were not required to participate but if they wanted to watch they would have to do so in the nude.

For those wondering what types of people attend these parties, I have to admit I was very surprised at how attractive many of the couples were. They ranged from average to just plain wow.

We mingled with many of the guests but after dinner, one particular attractive couple caught our attention. They were both in their early twenties and were both attractive and just down to earth. We will call them John and Megan. After dinner we approached them and chatted for awhile. They were a bit shy, but to break the ice Samantha asked Megan if she wanted a drink. After the drink Samantha asked Megan if she wanted to make out. She said yes and we all proceeded down to the basement play area.

Everyone was naked down there and many of the guests were already playing with each other. The four of us stripped and sat down on a bed next to each other and Meagan and Samantha began to make out. Megan went down on Samantha and fingered her and then Samantha reciprocated. During this whole time a couple was having sex next to us.

After Samantha went down on Megan for a short period Megan asked if Samantha wanted to swap partners. At that point I made out with Megan and fingered her as she played with me and then she gave me a blow job while John went down on Samantha and Samantha gave John a hand job. Then I went down on Megan until she came. Shortly after we swapped back to our original partners (me with Samantha and John with Megan) and had sex with our respective partners. This was considered a soft swap which consists of swapping partners to the point just before actual vaginal intercourse.

While we were playing with John and Megan a massive orgy was forming on beds near us. There must have been about twenty people on those three beds all eating each other out, giving blow jobs, and having sex. We couldn’t even distinguish who was who. It has to be one of the most interesting sexual sights I had ever seen. And the moans and noises emanating from that pile of people was amazing.

We definitely had a wonderful time and exchanged contact information with John and Megan to hang out in the future and probably play again, possibly moving into a full swap where we have sex with each other’s partners.

Guides

This will be the future location where I link to guides I have written. The permanent link can be found at the top right hand corner of this website. I'm going to try to write a new guide every three months or so.

How to Host Apartment/House Parties (v.1.0)

How to Host a Movie Night (v.1.0)

Maintaining and Building Value on Facebook (v.1.0)