Approach: College Intern on the Subway


NYC Subway


Blonde sitting on Subway


6.5 - Attractive


“Do you know if it is going to rain today?”


“What kind of work do you do?”


Tap on the knee in conjunction with the opener.




I entered the subway car during my morning commute and saw this attractive blonde standing in front of me. First sets of the day are always tedious, especially early in the morning when I feel exhausted. I just blanked out, I had nothing other than the voice in my head saying, “f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, say something!” One stop goes by, she sits down in an empty seat. Now I’m standing, she is sitting, same sound track in my head. Another stop goes by (at this point I am shamelessly violating the 3 second rule, we are up to several minutes at this point). A seat opens up next to her and across from her. I’m about to go to the one across from her feeling like a nitwit for not saying anything when I say, “f*ck it” to myself and sit down next to her. I then open her and have a short conversation that lasted a couple of minutes until our stop. Her bodylanguage and tonality were positive. She seemed interesting, I will probably talk to her again since our commute is basically the same once in Manhattan.


Note: Some liberties are taken since I do not remember exactly word for word what was said, but the dialogue below is fairly accurate.

Me: Do you know if it is going to rain today?
Her: I have no idea, I don’t think so.
Me: I keep forgetting to check the weather, I got poured on yesterday.
Her: Yea, it did rain yesterday.
Me: What kind of work do you do?
Her: I’m an intern at _________. What about you?
Me: I am also doing an internship.
Her: Really, where?
Me: I work at _________. Is your internship something you pursued yourself or through your school?
Her: It is something I am doing on my own.
Me: What made you decide to work do an internship at _________?
Her: I don’t know, I’m an economics major at _________.
Me: Oh, so that’s kind of related, both have to deal with money.
Her: What kind of work do you do at your internship?
Me: _________.

[We reach our stop – at this point I actually didn’t realize it was my stop also, I didn’t see the sign]

Me: Enjoy your day at work.
Her: Have a good day.

[She left the train and then I realized it was my stop as well and I got off]

Conclusions and What I learned

She clearly noticed me when I came onto the train. I lost value by not opening her right away and I lacked energy during the interaction. I need to make sure I’m “on” by just being sociable with those around me. I’m generally like that by mid-day, but there are so many attractive women in the mornings that it would be a shame not to take advantage of the opportunities because I’m more zombie than human.



June 17, 2008 at 10:35 PM

Could you please post an article on how you overcame approach anxiety? I'm still working on it, I'm better when I have a wing...finding a regular wing is damn tough.


June 22, 2008 at 12:02 PM

I'm surprised at you, I would have thought that when you got off you would have re-opened with her. But I guess I can see how that might been chasing her, or been a bit weird depending on how far of a distance you had to get to her.


June 22, 2008 at 4:35 PM

I'm suprised that your suprised I didn't re-open her.

This was the second time I saw the girl on this train. This time she was in my proximity so I opened her and interacted with her. I had no expectations or attachments to any type of outcome from interacting with her, I was just being friendly. When I really vibe with a girl and feel there is a connection that I would want to pursue, that is when I number close. I am very busy and can't be going out with every women under the sun just because I approach them and they are attractive.