Approach: Cute Coffee Addict on the Train


LIRR to Manhattan


Cute Brunette Sits next to me on the train.


6.0 - Attractive


“How’s the coffee?”


“What kind of work do you do?”


Mutual Kino (hands, arms, back, incidental)




I went into the LIRR car and sat in a three seat next to an attractive girl with headphones and glasses on. Generally the trick to a smooth opening with the trains is to say, “good morning” or “hey, how’s it going?” right away when you get their attention by sitting down next to them. Silly me said nothing this time around. The girl sitting next to me just went to sleep. During one of the stops a whole lot of people come onto the train. I turn to look down the aisle and make eye contact with an attractive brunette walking in my direction. I turn back facing my way and have the thought that I hope she sits down next to me, however, I know from experience this generally doesn’t happen. All of a sudden, there she is asking me to sit down. So I scoot over. I was so shocked that I had a warm set sitting next to me that I paused for about 30 seconds with a brain fart. I knew she was a warm set, she saw me make eye contact and she chose to sit next to me. I would be a fool not to open. There was nothing obvious to say, so I just noticed she had a coffee cup in her hand and opened with, “how’s the coffee?” she responded very enthusiastically and I followed with what kind of coffee was it and the set from that point on was one of the best sets I have ever had. I did what Tyler Durden of RSD talks about and that is just have fun. My goal wasn’t to build deep rapport, I just ramped up the attraction very quickly, bantered and teased the fuck out of her and shifted into comfort. The issue arose when I tried to number close her. I told her it had been really fun talking to her and I then asked what her number was. She paused and said she wasn’t allowed to tell me. I teased her a bit and then she told me she had a boyfriend. I looked her right in the face and said, “I said you were cool, I never said I wanted to date you.” She cracked up and was laughing hysterically, but she said she really couldn’t. I said that’s fine. There was a slight awkward moment, but I pushed passed it and we had fun all the way into penn station. At the end of the interaction I was still walking forward and she went off to a different direction and said to me that she was going that way. I looked at her and said it was nice meeting you, but when I looked at her facial expressions I knew I should have number closed again, because she wanted me to. I don’t think she knew I wasn’t going the same way as her, she really looked disappointed, oh well. I was just taken off guard by the fact that we started walking different directions like that. But regardless, it was an awesome set and I wish all my sets were that much fun.


Note: Some liberties are taken since I do not remember exactly word for word what was said, but the dialogue below is fairly accurate.

This interaction lasted for at least 30 minutes. I am not going to recreate 30 minutes of dialogue, so below is select portions.

[She sits down next to me]

Me: How’s the coffee
Her: The coffee is fantastic, I just love coffee so much
Me: What kind of coffee is it?
Her: [Names type of coffee]

[The rest of the train ride is a blurr. I teased her about being a coffee addict throughout the train ride, among other things and we covered such topics as traveling, education, work, but never in a serious way. I will provide one example below – it is as close to accurate as possible, but I’m sure I have forgotten a lot]

Her: I feel like we aren’t living how we should be living. Like back during cavemen, I think they had it right, they just lived simpler lives.
Me: So you would be fine in a cave as long as there was a dunkin donuts right next door and a coffee mug in your hand.
Her: [laughing and agreeing] I think the people in Italy have it right, I went there and they take naps in the afternoon, have bbqs and know how to relax. The women can eat whatever they want, most of them are huge and them men love it (why she was saying this I have no idea, she wasn’t overweight, nor was she a toothpick, but it seemed odd), but that is how we should be living, it isn’t like that over here.
Me: So what you are trying to say is that Italians are cavemen. And they even enjoy coffee there as much as you do, it is the perfect setup.

[When we were getting close to the last stop, I went to number close, got resistance, blew it off, there was an awkward moment (she caused it by not knowing what to do next), I just plowed past it, and the conversation was even better than before and then continuing when we got off the train]

[She got off the train first and I turned towards the right where she was and started walking with her. I didn’t do this on purpose, I was actually going to go left, but got confused at the direction I was supposed to go]

Her: Are you following me?
Me: Absolutely not, you see I’m slightly ahead of you, so it is you that is following me.
Her: No, well I got off the train first, so you had to start out by following me.
Me: Okay, well if it makes you that happy to think that I was following you then go right ahead and do so.
Her: Yes, it would make me very happy.

[She then goes on to describe a creepy guy she met at a coffee shop and then I go up a flight of stairs ahead of her, once we get past the stairs our conversation resumes]

Her: Now you are really following me.
Me: I can’t be, we are walking side by side.

[More banter, we make a turn and she is ahead of me]

Her: Now that I’m ahead of you, you have to be following me.
Me: [I say something, then I accidently step on the back of her foot]
Me: See, you made me have to put my foot down to end this nonsense.
Her: Laughing

[ Lots of kino here, the dialogue shifts and she brings up that she has bad habits other than being addicted to coffee, that she is a smoker as well, but is trying to quit, I show my disapproval of the smoking and tease her about it. The interaction ends when we go our separate ways]

Conclusions and What I learned

Just have fun with a set. Don’t expect or want anything from them, just enjoy yourself. Sometimes I feel it is too easy to become too serious in a set, talking about serious topics and to lose the real excitement of the interaction.



June 25, 2008 at 4:37 PM

*Claps* Bravo!

I think you did a great job with that girl, too bad you didn't # close. But I tip my hat to you, I love how you came up with such cool stuff on the fly like that. I especially like the part you tell you didn't want to date her. That's real solid I'm going to steal it for whenever I might have an opportunity to use it.

I noticed that you started to use dialogs like I do my blogs, it helps a lot to remember what exactly happened don't it?


June 25, 2008 at 6:48 PM

I started adding the dialogues because they make the entries more interesting and enjoyable to read. I am considering making the details section and the dialogue section one and interwieve them, more like a story.