Events: New York City PUA Events for September 2008

In an effort to keep my readers and myself better informed on the different community events occuring in New York City each month I post a calender at the beginning of each month listing all upcoming events I am aware of. New York City is a place that has several different community groups and there is no reason to learn pick up on your own if you do not want to. If I have a missed an event that you feel should be listed please do not hesitate to e-mail me.

Thursday, September 11, 2008
Title: Sarge NYC Meetup Group
Location: West Village, W. 4th St. and 6th Ave, New York, NY 10001
Phone: 201-424-2876
Time: 9 p.m.

Saturday, September 13, 2008
Title: NYC Wingmen Meetup Group
Location: Ripley-Grier Studios, 520 Eigth Avenue, 36th/37th St., Rm. 16K, New York, NY 10011
Phone: 212-799-5433
Time: 7 p.m.
Description: “The topic is very advanced, but also it will relate to guys who just got into the community. Normally i would only teach this at my private seminars or 1on1 sessions, but i will be bring it in for this meeting. It will cover fundamental psychology, and huge pot holes that road to pua ship has innately, which are like a bad habits, very difficult to get rid of once you get them and why it is very easy to take wrong course.

I am expecting Tv crew (50%/50% that it shows up) i mentioned before, to show up at this meeting. There for i will run it myself, so it doesn't not experience any hick ups. Pick up, meeting women as a skill has been severely misrepresented by the media, and i want it to change (not to say pick up artists themselves haven't contributed to that view). I spoke to the producer of the show, and he is not looking for a show with a negative angle, in fact he wants it to be positive and upbeat.

My goal is to make it not a negative piece about community, but to show that this is more of cool group of guys who are out there to assist each other in improving the necessary and essential skill we all need in life. Meeting and Dating. And that it is not some kind of innate ability that cant be acquired, but rather, it is self improving trait that affects all parts of life and not just meeting women. There will be no talk of routines, full close, and such. The attitude that will be conveyed at this meeting will be of social club, rather then underground lair, which usually what is expected of community.

I will have to put in some limitations, one, and that was request from producer himself, he wanted to show more of younger crowd, so i will cap the that age limit at 49 just for this one meeting. I will also limit amount of sits.”

Sunday, September 14, 2008
Title: Vibelist/NYC Lair Meeting featuring puaL
Location: Ripley Grier Studios, 520 8th Ave (36/37 St), 16th Floor
Time: 4:30 – 8:00 p.m.
Price: $20 Non-members, $10 members
Description: “puaL is a free spirit from Oregon. He is currently an actor in New York City and is always looking for new adventures, whether it be through his work as
an actor taking on transvestite roles or being in front of millions on reality
TV. He also helps the Vybe List group train students to become men that women
love to have through the 12 Week Program and has been doing so for the past
2 years. With an IQ of 150, puaL is a master at quick-witted and playful banter.
He is a prankster, and a goofball who is best known for his ability to be totally
in the moment. Often, the direction he takes surprises even himself and women
will either love him or hate him. But it's all from a positive place at heart.”

Thursday, September 18, 2008
Title: Sarge NYC Meetup Group
Location: West Village, W. 4th St. and 6th Ave, New York, NY 10001
Phone: 201-424-2876
Time: 9 p.m.

Saturday, September 20, 2008
Title: NYC Inside Out Social Dynamics Mastermind Group featuring Glenn Jason
Location: Ripley Grier Studios, 520 8th Avenue, 36th/37th St., Rm. 16U, 16th Floor, New York, NY 10001
Phone: (212) 643-9985
Time: 5 p.m.
Price: $12
Description: “This month we will be focusing on first impressions, style, and body language. Glenn Jason, the NYC lead coach of Brad P's Underground Dating Seminar group will be speaking to our group. Mastermind group session to follow Glenn's presentation. After the meeting - you all will have the opportunity to form wingman pairs and go out on the town.”

Thursday, September 25, 2008
Title: Sarge NYC Meetup Group
Location: West Village, W. 4th St. and 6th Ave, New York, NY 10001
Phone: 201-424-2876
Time: 9 p.m.

Social Circle Game: Fourth Apartment Party

Tonight I’m hosting another party at my place. It is the fourth one I’ve had this year. As I mentioned earlier, this is part of my overall strategy to become the hub of my social network. Right now I plan on having at least one party each month, if not two. Hosting the parties has become easier as each one goes by. The structure has remained the same, 3 hours of hanging out (drinking, beer pong, pizza, etc.) and then the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) is ordered on PPV at 10 p.m. and that lasts until at least 1 a.m. Sometimes people stay all the way until 3 a.m.

Next month I’m planning on having two parties. The first will be in celebration of my 26th birthday. It will be the first party that deviates from the above setup and will just be straight hanging out, no UFC. If it goes as planned I will begin having both UFC and non-UFC parties each month.

I owe a lot to Facebook for making organizing events a simple process. This would be way more difficult without it. The benefit of Facebook is that not only can you invite people to events that are members of Facebook, but you can also send out invites to people by e-mail address that aren’t.

The last party had 14 people total, 7 girls and 7 guys. This time around I’m expecting about 10 people. Sadly, the flake rate is always extremely high and I’m attempting to come up with solutions. I normally organize the event a month in advance, send out a reminder through Facebook one week prior to the party, and then a text message to all who confirmed on Facebook they were attending the day of. Most people flake several hours before the party. I have always found that very rude and I cannot imagine doing that to someone unless there was a real emergency of some kind.

Lastly, I have been trying to diversify who I invite. The bulk of those that attend I know from law school and the remainder come from undergraduate and high school. I am heavily involved in jujutsu, tae kwon do, improv, and flying and am now in the process of attempting to diversify the attendance by inviting people from those hobbies.

I will give an update tomorrow afternoon on the results of the party.

Approach: Couch Girl (Practicing Dealing With Awkward Silences)

Location

Improv Show in Manhattan

Description

Girl sitting on a couch next to me

Rating

5.5 – Average (View My Detailed Rating Scale)

Opener

“Did you come just for the show or do you know someone performing in it?”

Transition

“How do you know ____________?”

Kino

Light toughing on arm and back several times during interaction

Close

None

Details & Dialogue

I went to go see a friend perform in an improv show at a theater in Manhattan.

While in the waiting area, I was sitting on a black leather loveseat when a girl sat next to me. There were plenty of other seats available, so this may have been an invitation to opener her. However, at that particular moment I was waiting for the restroom to become available (it was a one person restroom about 10 feet away from the couch). I went to the restroom and when I came out my seat next to the girl was still available.

I sat down next to her and after about a minute I said, “Did you come just for the show or do you know someone performing in it?” She responded that she knew someone in the show. We continued on that thread for a brief time and then we were interrupted by someone we both knew. When that person left I asked her how she knew him. From there we chatted some more until we came to a point where, though I could continue talking to her, it was a natural break and I decided to allow one of those horrible awkward silences come about.

I simply did this to practice relaxing in such situations and as a social experiment to see what she would do. I made sure I looked completely comfortable sitting there and after about a minute or two she reinitiated the conversation. I believe that because of the increased effort needed to do reinitiate on her part she hooked herself and the interaction picked up dramatically.

A few minutes later we were interrupted once again, this time by theater staff to begin taking seats in the theater. She went a few rows back and it appeared that she expected me to come sit next to her, however I opted to sit in the front.

After the show was over I saw her in the waiting room and re-opened her, asking her how she enjoyed the show. We talked briefly and I wished her a goodnight. I thought my friend would be ready to leave, but she met with the other performers outside the theater to receive feedback of their performances. I went outside the theater to wait and while outside, couch girl came out and occupied herself on her IPOD several feet from me. Couch girl noticed me and reinitiated conversation we had an enjoyable interaction for about thirty minutes. When people are interested they will just talk and talk, you do not even have to put in a lot of effort if you do not want to. I chose not to close. We had a good interaction, but I didn’t feel the right kind of chemistry.

Conclusions and What I learned

I know that almost everyone is afraid of the dreaded “awkward silence” moments that can potentially occur when either interacting with someone for the first time or on a Day 2. You should improve upon your conversation skills to the point where awkward silences are infrequent, but you also need to not be freaked out by them when they do occur. If there is a pause in conversation and the girl reinitiates conversation then that is an indicator of interest, if not, you can always reinitiate.