Swinging: First Flakes & Future Dates

So we had two flakes this past weekend with single guys.
Some of you may be confused, as in, “Why are you meeting single guys?” confused, so let me explain.

This was basically my idea. With becoming involved with swinging I’m basically overcoming many hang-ups I have, and probably most guys have, when it comes to sex and people they are involved with. My Primary LTR will be sleeping with other guys when we swap with couples, so why not expand our sexual horizons further and try a MFM Threesome while we are at it. The whole way I look at all of this is that we only live life once, and I plan on milking life for everything it has. My Primary LTR is up for this, the next girl may not, that is if there is a next girl, you never know, but why not give it all a whirl with someone willing. There is a good chance all this can be very liberating and empowering.

Moving on to these two flakes. Apparently in the swinging world, a single guy will cancel for a variety of reasons. Some of those being: they are married even though they claimed to be singe and could not get away for the evening, got ‘cold feet’, are not who they said they were in the ad and are afraid that they would get found out, or ‘an unplanned event’ happened. The first guy for Friday claimed that our e-mail ended up in his spam folder somehow. The second guy did not respond to us at all until we texted him the day of asking if we were still on and several hours later (after we already made new plans with other people) he sent a response saying something work related came up. We have since moved on from these two.

Our first meetings are always Meet and Greets with no expectations. Meaning we just want to meet the couple or single person (m or f) and see if we have chemistry. It is like a date. If we like them, then the second interaction is when we plan on moving things forward. Perhaps the two nitwits above just wanted easy sex and moved on, but as a friend of ours who is a single guy swinger said, what single guy would pass up the opportunity to meet with a couple?

Anyway, moving on to our two future dates. We should be going out with two different couples this coming weekend. One is in their twenties, the other in their early thirties. Both are attractive and have been certified by other couples as being real :-) We’ll see how it goes.

Swinging: First Time Visiting an Off-Premises Club

When it comes to swinging clubs, there are two kinds. The below two definitions are based upon how these clubs function in New York. There may be slight differences elsewhere.

  • Off-Premises: These clubs serve generally serve alcohol and while those who frequent the clubs are encouraged to dress revealingly and naughty, nudity is not allowed and there is absolutely no sex allowed on the premises or even at times in the parking lot of the premises. These clubs are met for couples and singles to meet each other and then depart to a home or apartment or other location do get down and dirty with each other.
  • On-Premises: These clubs generally do not serve alcohol, but you can bring your own alcohol. At On-Premises clubs, there are specific locations in the club where sex and everything that leads up to it is allowed. There are private rooms, there are sometimes rooms where orgies happen, nudity is allowed, etc. Generally unescorted single men (if they are even allowed in the club in the first place) are not allowed in the areas where people play with each other.

So, keeping those two definitions in mind, last weekend my Primary LTR and I went to an Off-Premises Club here in New York. It was really overwhelming. I completely shut down. We didn’t interact with a soul. Okay, that isn’t exactly true. When we were leaving we chatted for a little while with the couple that owns and runs the place, but other than that, we just watched, drank, and danced a little, with each other. Everyone was having a lot of fun, there were very attractive people there.

One thing that is interesting is that one of the couples we did see (but did not interact with) messaged us on one of the online services we use and wants to meet up for some girl on girl action.

We are hoping that the next time we go to this specific club we will feel more comfortable and begin to mingle with other people there. As for visiting an On-Premise club, we will be doing that no matter what on Valentine’s day, but more on that later :-)

Swinging: Results of Our First Date with a Couple

This weekend was the first time my Primary LTR and I went on a date with another couple for the purpose of possibly swinging with each other – or put another way, of swapping partners.

We went to the couple’s house for dinner and spent the evening socializing with them over dinner, dessert, and drinks. It was a very interesting experience. Overall we had a good time, but not quite in the way we were hoping.

In general we enjoy sexually aggressive females and men (if they are not creepy), but this couple was far from that. Rather they acted like a lot of our vanilla friends.

Quick Side Note: The swinging community is very similar to the pickup community in many aspects, and one of those similarities is that it has its own jargon/terminology for things. A vanilla friend/person is someone who is not part of the swinging community.

So, basically it felt like we were hanging out with a regular couple. There was little to no sexual tension, flirting, or anything of that nature. The girl was extremely shy, which is likely the cause the lack of sexual tension. In many cases, females that swing are bi-sexual or bi-curious. This makes it very easy for things to move in a sexual direction since the females can hookup first and then the men can join in and then swapping can actually then begin to occur.

Because of her shyness, we felt that the sexual chemistry was lacking. In the end, nothing sexual did happen for those that are wondering.

If they want to hang out again with us, we will give it another go to see if perhaps their female half will open up a bit. Otherwise, most likely they will be relegated to the friend zone.

Swinging: First Date with a Couple Scheduled

My Primary LTR and I scheduled a date with a couple for this weekend. Our original plan was just to spend time with them and see if we have chemistry and not move to a sexual level on the first meeting. However, we are in agreement that we are willing to engage in sexual activities with that couple if the chemistry feels right.

Depending on how comfortable we feel we may engage in sex between my Primary LTR and myself in the same room as the other couple and not swap, or, we may Soft Swap which means we would swap partners and engage in sexual activity short of intercourse, or, if we feel the mood is right we may engage in a Full Swap which means we would swap partners and engage in full intercourse.

At the moment we have about a dozen or so couples that are interested in meeting us in the very near future. The only issue is that I live a very active life, from the numerous hobbies I engage in, to a very intense social life, so at most we can managae is a couple a week. Keeping that in mind, there should be plenty of updates on this aspect of my life and for the time being I will keep posting those adventures here on this blog.

Entering the World of Swinging

My Primary LTR and I watched a show together this past summer called Swing Town. The show was about a couple who upon moving to an upscale neighborhood discovered that their friendly neighbors were in fact swingers. This show led to a discussion of exploring the possibility of experimenting with swinging. In December we signed up for a swingers website and have since that time been in contact with about a dozen couples, one of which invited us to a New Year’s Eve Lifestyle party. We decided to go and it had to be the most exciting party that either of us had ever been to.

I share this new part of my life with my readers simply because I view pickup as not just improving your social skills with girls, but as a journey to improve yourself in all facets of life and to open yourself up to new experiences, and as a result of how I have changed since becoming involved in the pickup community, it is those very changes that has given me the confidence to experiment in this sort of way. I of course will still study community material and go out and meet single females for my own enjoyment, but I am debating whether to share my exploits in the world of swinging on this blog or create a separate one just for that purpose.